Busy media personality, and co-host of CTV’s The Social, Cynthia Loyst is also a mother, a writer and a passionate pursuer of all things pleasurable. As a sex educator and advice columnist, she’s founded a website dedicated to helping women create healthy relationships with themselves and others. She tells us how she finds her own pleasures in her day-to-day life.
You’re a busy mom, a broadcast professional and wife – how have you learned to find a healthy balance?
It’s hard – I’m good at finding pleasure but not so great at finding balance! Thankfully I have a village to help: a very involved partner, a father-in-law who lives nearby and an amazing babysitter who has been with our family since my son was six months old. Despite that, there are days when I still feel totally overwhelmed and failing in some part of my life.
You work with an amazing cast of women on The Social, you get to interview really interesting people and wear beautiful outfits; what’s the best part of your day?
Okay I would be lying if I said getting all glammed up every day isn’t pretty fun. But, more than that, I’m truly delighted by the incredible people I work with every day, both in front of and behind the camera. Having said all that, the best part of my workday is connecting with the audience. The stories they share (both in person and online) about their own struggles and experiences have moved me to tears. I feel incredibly privileged to share in some part of their journey.
You describe yourself as a professional sensualist, what does that mean?
I strongly believe that sensual pleasures in life bring us happiness, but if we aren’t slowing down and tuning into our senses we will completely miss them. So I to try to incorporate sensuality every day – whether it’s picking clothing that feels great or is dazzling to my eye, adding essential oils into my shower, slowly savouring a piece of dark chocolate laced with sea salt or indulging in cuddles with my boys – basically I try to devour as many small, sensual pleasures as I can.
What makes you feel sexy?
Having alone time! I honestly don’t think women (particularly mothers) prioritize this enough. When I’m alone for a day with no schedule, and I’m able to have a nap or a bath or read some erotica – that’s when I get into a sexy headspace. A little fun lingerie never hurts either.
Many women struggle with finding the time and desire to maintain healthy sexual relationships with their partners in the hustle and bustle of everyday life – how do you make sexual and sensual health a priority?
You have to schedule it. We prioritize so many other things in our lives: like dinner parties, dentist appointments, thank you cards, etc. – why shouldn’t we make a plan for sex? But we also have to expand what we mean by sex – maybe it’s solo sex, maybe it’s just a sensual massage, maybe it’s incorporating a toy with your partner – as long as it feels pleasure-filled and not pressure-filled. Otherwise scheduling sex can easily become just another annoying thing on your “to-do” list.
When it comes to bedtime, do you rock sweatpants and topknot or delicate intimate apparel?
I have the worst bedtime clothes. I do own some silky negligees, but then I get too cold. I also have some flannel sets but then I get too hot. So my default bedtime attire is concert T-shirts with pajama shorts. However, I do have some of the best robes for different moods – a silky kimono, a cozy spa robe, and a vintage Japanese one with intricate, floral embroidery. And my favorite one that I got last year from LA that has subtle vulvas printed on it. As I said, I am always pushing pleasure.
From candidly sharing her opinions on television and radio, to creating the popular online destination Find Your Pleasure, Cynthia has grown to become one of Canada’s most recognized and respected writers, producers and television personalities.
Find out more about Cynthia at her website: findyourpleasure.com